i am back in jamrock. my family waved at me for 15 minutes straight as i waited in line at the security check, then when i turned around i had lost sight of them and it was back to reality. as i headed for my gate, scouring the joint for some coffee, it began to hit me… tears flooded my eyes. why was i taking this so hard? so many years from the time i was 18 i had left home, countless times going to a far off land and i never gave it much thought. this time, however, i felt sad inside. sad to leave them knowing they were all going through their own, very personal issues and that they were all trying to confront these issues head on, but all very much alone. that sense of aloneness made me sad. i felt happy to have been able to be there, at that time, for all of them, but i was now leaving them. i have pride when it comes to emotions and i always try to put on this brave exterior, make people believe i’m hard as a rock and nothing can break me down, that’s not quite true… for you see i did break down; just not in front of them. that’s the trick. seems like i do have a heart. hah.

landed in mobay and was picked up by a very elated rocksan and sarge. we made a few stops along the way, as well as picked up chubby, selassie and asam and made our way up the mountain. as soon as we reached the dirt road i could hear my name being shouted from the veranda. we all visited for a while, marie recruited breezer to carry one of my bags and sarge to get the other. i was greeted back to my yard by a 9 foot sound system on my veranda… this got me quite excited till i learned it was just being stored till breezer could carry it back to his yard. home sweet home.

now to catch up on life back. i’m exhausted and mentally preparing for what awaits me at school: a whole new batch of grade 6 students, parents’ expectations for their children’s gsat scores, students sitting for gsat who are less than prepared, a new year of spanish, p.e. and more chaos. can’t wait. i’m nervous as all the terrorizing students from grade 5 are now in my care. 32 students. oh jah jah, bless me and give me strength. heading in on monday.